Satan and the Old Man

People were in their pews talking at church.

Suddenly, at the front of the church there’s a big puff of acrid smoke and Satan appears!

Everyone started screaming and running out the doors, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.

Soon the church was empty. Well, almost. One elderly gentleman remained, quietly sitting in his pew, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God’s ultimate enemy was in his presence.

Satan walked up to the old man and said, “Don’t you know who I am?”

The man replied, “Yep, sure do.”

“Aren’t you afraid of me?” Satan asked.

“Nope, sure ain’t.” said the man.

“Don’t you realize I can kill with a word?” asked Satan.

“Don’t doubt it for a minute,” returned the old man, in an even tone.

“Did you know that I could cause you profound horrifying agony for all eternity?” persisted Satan.

“Yep,” was the calm reply.

“And you’re still not afraid?” asked Satan.

“Nope,” said the old man.

More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, “Well, why aren’t you afraid of me?”

The man calmly replied, “Been married to your sister for 44 years.”