Words of Wisdom

Some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue.

Keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

Drive carefully. It’s not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.

If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won’t have a leg to stand on.

Since it’s the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

The second mouse gets the cheese.

When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.