A very drunk man sits down on a subway train next to a priest. His tie is stained with food, he’s got lipstick marks all over his face, he smells of cheap booze, and a half-empty bottle of gin is sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opens his newspaper and starts reading it.
After a few minutes, he turns to the priest and says “Say, Father, what causes arthritis?”
The priest, annoyed by this individual, replies “My son, it’s caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes, and failing to bathe!”
The drunk mutters “Well, I’ll be darned” and returns to reading his paper.
The priest suddenly feels badly about what he said, nudges the man and says “I’m very sorry. I didn’t mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?”
The drunk looks back at the priest and says “I don’t have it, Father. I was just reading in the paper that the Pope has it.”