The Hit Man
This guy is broke and trapped in an unhappy marriage, so he decides he’s going to take out a large insurance policy on his wife and then have her done away with.
He buys the policy and then starts making inquiries and is finally hooked up with a hit man.
“How much?” he asks.
“$5,000,” replies the hit man, whose name is Artie.
The man says, “It’s a deal.”
“I’d like my money up front” says Artie.
“Gee, I can’t afford that much until I collect on the insurance,” says the guy.
“Well, how about at least some of it?” says Artie.
The man opens his wallet and it contains but a single dollar bill. He hands it to Artie and says, “that’s all I have.”
So Artie takes it and is on his way.
The next day Artie follows the poor wife to the local supermarket. He stalks her to the produce department, and there he does his evil deed, choking her to death. Unfortunately, the produce manager walks in on the scene, so Artie is forced to choke him to death too.
The next day the headline in the paper reads: “Artie chokes 2 for $1 at local supermarket!”