Give me a push

A man and his wife were lying in bed during a rain storm when suddenly they heard a knock on the door. The husband turned over, grumpily got out of bed and went downstairs to answer it.

When he opened the door, a man stinking of rum was drunkenly leaning against the wall and slurred “Excuse me mate, can I get a push?” The man replied “No, and you shouldn’t be driving in that state”. He slammed the door and went back upstairs.

Moments later another knock on the door. The man angrily went down and opened the door again. The drunk, now half way down the wall, asked again “Mate, mate, I really need a push”. The man told the drunk off again and slammed the door.

When he climbed back in bed, his wife asked what was wrong. The man explained the situation and said forget about it. His wife, in her best nagging tone, told the man to go downstairs and help the poor man. “In this weather, it is dangerous for someone to be broken down in the middle of the road.”

The man, grumpy as hell now, begrudgingly got out of bed and walked downstairs. When he opened the door, the drunk was gone. Knowing his wife would nag him again, he ventured out into the storm to search for the drunk.

He called out “Sir, sir, do you still need that push?” The drunk slurred out “Yeah maaaate, I’m over here”. The man, peering through the darkness said “Where? I can’t see you!”

The drunk replied “Over here, I’m on the swings.”