A wee Scottish tale

A golfer is cupping his hand to scoop water from a burn at St Andrews.

A greenskeeper shouts, “Dinnae drink tha waater! Et’s foo ae coo’s shite an pish!”

The golfer looks at him and says, “My good fellow, I’m from England. Could you repeat that for me in English!?”

“Oh, sorry, sir. I said, use two hands – you’ll spill less that way!”