The prostate exam

Bill is at the doctor’s office. The doctor says, “I suspect that you might have prostate cancer, Bill.”

Handing Bill a sample jar, the doctor says, “I need a semen sample from you. Bring this back tomorrow for further tests.”

Bill returns to the doctor the next day and waits on the examining table. When the doctor comes in, Bill hands him the sample jar—empty.

The doctor say, “Now, Bill, I know that this might be unpleasant for you, but I really need that semen sample!”

Bill says, “You don’t understand, doc. I tried with my right hand, and that didn’t work. I tried with my left hand, and that didn’t work, either.”

“I called my wife in, and she tried with her right hand, and then she tried with her left hand, and neither of those worked.”

“We asked the little old lady across the street for help. First, she tried taking out her false teeth and using her gums. Then, she tried it between her knees.”

“No matter what we tried, we couldn’t get the sample jar open!”