A farmer is wondering how many sheep he has in his field, so he asks his sheepdog to count them.
The dog runs into the field, counts them, and then runs back to his master.
“So,” says the farmer. “How many sheep were there?”
“40,” replies the dog.
“What? How can there be 40?!” exclaims the farmer. “I only bought 38!”
“I know,” says the dog. “But I rounded them up.”
A blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor’s dog who has been in their back yard yapping and barking for hours and hours. Finally the blond jumps out of bed and says “I’ve had enough of this.” She goes downstairs.
In a little while she comes back to bed—but the dog is still barking. ”What have you been doing, the dog is still barking?” demands the husband.
The blond says, “I put the dog in our backyard, let’s see how THEY like it!