the Daily Funnies

Two Indians and a Tennessee hillbilly were walking in the woods, all of a sudden one of the Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave.

Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!” he called into the cave and then he listened very closely until he heard an answering, “Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!” He tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.

The hillbilly was puzzled and asked the other Indian what that was all about. Was the other Indian crazy or what?

“No,” said the Indian. “It is our custom during mating season when Indian men see cave, they call ‘Wooooo Wooooo! Wooooo!’ into the opening. If they get an answer back, it means there is a girl in there waiting to mate.”

Just then they saw another cave. the Indian ran up to the opening of the cave, stopped, and hollered, “Woooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!” Immediately, there was an answering “Wooooo!Wooooo! Wooooo!” from deep inside the cave. He tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.

The hillbilly wandered around in the woods alone for a while, and then he came upon a great big cave. As he looked in, he was amazed at the size of the huge opening, he was thinking, “Oh, man! Look at the size of this cave! It is bigger than those the Indians found. There must be some really big, fine women in this cave!”

He stood in front of the opening and hollered with all his might “Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!” He grinned and closed his eyes in anticipation, and then he heard the answering call, “WOOOOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOOO!” With a gleam in his eyes and a smile on his face, he raced into the cave, tearing off his clothes as he ran.

The following day, the headline of the local newspaper read…..

NAKED HILLBILLY RUN OVER BY TRAIN.

A balding, white haired man walked into a jewelry store in a local mall this past Friday evening with a stunningly beautiful young woman at his side.  He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.  The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.

The man said, “No, I’d like to see something more special.”

At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought out another ring. “Here’s a stunning ring at only $40,000,” the jeweler said.

The lady’s eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man, seeing this, said, “We’ll take it.”

The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated, “By check.  I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I’ll write it now  and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I’ll pick up  the ring Monday afternoon.”

On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said, “There’s only $25 in that account.”

“I know,” said the old man, “but let me tell you about MY GREAT WEEKEND!”

The room was full of pregnant women with their partners. The class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe and was telling the men how to give the necessary assurance to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy.

She said, “Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier. Just take several stops and stay on a soft surface like grass or a path.”

She looked at the men in the room, “And Gentlemen, remember—you’re in this together—it wouldn’t hurt you to go walking with her.”

The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this information.

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